There was not enough caffeine in the world today. I say this only after some rigorous scientific testing. It started Saturday night/Sunday morning:
The first signs of fatigue happened at the airport. I had an hour before the flight left so I decided to grab some breakfast at the little diner inside the terminal. Across the restaurant two guys immediately stared at me as I sat down. No, I was not still wearing stripper make up. I was wearing no make up and sweat pants. And no panties but they had no way of knowing that. The point is I did not bring this on myself. I did the usual cold body language that plainly said “stop looking at me I don’t want to talk to you.”
Assuming I had resolved the situation I took a seat and opened the menu. Then I felt that burn. The feeling like something invisible but quite powerful is drilling it’s way through your back or forehead or tits or ass or wherever you’re being stared at. I looked up. Sure enough, one of the guys didn’t read body language very well. I made eye contact and stared back until he looked away. He was brazen, this one. It took him a hot second to stop. I went back to the menu. He burnt me again. I looked up. Dagger eyes. He looked down. We played this game probably fifteen times before I put my sweatshirt hood over my head and just gave up.
Like all airport waitresses, mine dropped the food off with no check and disappeared, leaving me desperate to find her when I looked at the clock and realized my flight was closing the doors in 15 minutes. I got up and went around to the kitchen to get her. His eyes were on me. It was creepy. They were unblinking and he didn’t care at all when I caught it (again). I sat down. She brought the check. I paid. His eyes still hadn’t moved.
I marched over to his table. “Can I help you?” I asked. I was quite loud and more than ready to make a scene. Everyone else in the restaurant suddenly tuned into the drama at table 5. “I was just wondering where you were flying to?” he asked, as if he hadn’t been visually assaulting me for the last 45 minutes. I’ll admit he sounded very innocent. He sounded Scottish. I guess they speak a different body language over there. “It’s none of your business where I’m flying to. Stop staring at me. It’s annoying.” Shock washed over his face and he quickly regained his composure. “I wasn’t staring at you. I was watching the TV behind you.” I looked back at the TV. From his perspective it was not situated behind where I had been sitting and the show didn’t seem aimed at an audience of his demographic: Dora the Explorer. I rolled my eyes or did something to that degree of annoyed bitchiness. “No you weren’t. You’re fucking creepy.”
And I walked off. I could hear him telling me “there was no need to take offense” in that little accent of his. It was unfortunate because in another time or place it would have been sexy.
I went from one airplane to another airplane to a boxing class to my horse ranch to the tanning booth to my house to a friend’s loft. We had a shoot to do for my website. He got the lighting set up while I got more publicly inappropriate make-up on. He wanted the lighting just right. It was pretty damn neato. We shot until the people we were supposed to go to dinner with showed up. By now it was midnight. This is why Wokano rocks. It’s open until 2 am.
My head hit the pillow around 3:30 am. When the alarm went off at 9 am the experience I has was nothing short of torture. There was nausea. My eyeballs hurt. My heart was pounding. Willpower was pulling my body out of bed and physically detaching it from my soul. That hurt too. I stood like a zombie in the shower. I went through the motions and grabbed some Starbucks on the way to the shoot. It was for Stiletto magazine. Turns out there was no make-up artist. I’d have to do my own. The photographer was very good with lighting as well as luck would have it. She asked how I was doing. “I’m going on 5 hours of sleep in 72 hours,” I responded. Pregnant pause. “Oh.”
So I went from the shoot to the boxing class to the horse to home and back to the loft to finish shooting. I am determined to get this content together for my website. He was once again amazing with lighting and somehow managed to get awesome pictures despite it all. I got to bed around 3 am. And god dammit if that alarm didn’t go off at 9 again this morning.
Today was a half day shoot for a softcore fetish site. The boxing instructor cancelled as I was leaving the shoot so I decided to just go to my favorite little café and have a cappuccino. A large cappuccino. One turned into two. I had great reading material and the first hadn’t hit me so I saw no reason to leave. Around 6:30 pm I decided I must be immune to caffeine. I was yawning as I drove home. I had no energy to see the horse. I had no energy to go to porn star karaoke. Instead I zoned out in front of the computer and addressed five days worth of emails. My alarm will go off at 9 am tomorrow and once again I will head off to a shoot and follow up with my own work. Somehow it’s now 1 am. And I can’t sleep.
Courtesy of: Kayden Kross
Make sure to check out Yummy Kayden @
www.myspace.com/kaydenkross
www.clubKayden.com
