I have a secret. I like playing with car dealerships. I don't feel bad because their people play with enough of the other customers. They're trained professionals.

It started when I was 18 and stripping and finally had the resources to go to a dealership by myself and get a new car. I wanted a Nissan 350z in one of the cool metallic colors, stick shift. I was driving an 05 Saturn sedan at the time. Not a bad car but it didn't make my heart race. I drove through the auto mall and scouted. Cue shark music. I saw it. It was beautiful. I went in.

The car was "pre-owned", a term I will never agree with because 'pre' means 'before', and if I get a "pre-owned" vehicle I'm not getting the car before it's been owned. I'm getting one that's been owned before. I actually brought this argument out loud once and I was told that pre stands for previously, which I knew, but the whole thing is still just sickeningly euphemistic, like "gently loved" vehicles. Uh. Semantics.